User talk:Russ

Mud Grubbers are a growing group of people that store and consume various types of soil. They are known for their infatuation with finding new sources of soil, often never collecting from the same location twice and are known to impede on private property to collect new samples. They often keep intricate journals of their preferences, mouthfeel, location data and methods of ingestion. After starting soil consumption, a Mud Grubber can become completely obsessed with their collection. Homes have been discovered with cabinets and countertops completely covered with samples.

Storage

The main storage container for their soil collections are clear glass Gribson Jars with very tight lids. The lids are often tightened extremely tight using a tool called a grasping coupler which is basically a jar opener only modified to close the specialty Gribson Jar lids as tightly as possible without breaking the glass.

Legality

For the most part Mud Grubbing is completely legal. Serious connoisseurs frequently find themselves looking for more restricted or dangerous locations for soil collection. Several arrests have been made due to grave desecration, home invasion (typically due to Grub Dusters) and general trespassing on private property. The most serious cases come from [Contam Crammers]. Psychological profiling has been made on several convicted grubbers and it's now known that the hunt for novel soil is what drives them to make riskier decisions.

Soil Types

This list of the most common soil types has been found in almost the exact same order in various grubber notebooks throughout the world.

• Fine sandy loams
• Peaty
• Silt
• Clay

After the Big 4 Buffet, Grubbers will start to diversify their pallets, some specializing in one specific soil type for months while others vary types to the extreme.

Ingestion

Water is the most common additional ingredient for soil consumption and is added straight to the jar and mixed with a fairly large slotted spoon. The use of a slotted spoon helps drain the water so the mixture is less soup and more mud (depending on the soil used). Journaled discussions of mouthfeel, texture, crunch, aroma and stickiness are ubiquitous in the Grubber community and many feel this detailed journaling is what separates the Grubber from a person with the psychological disorder Pica. Common descriptions for clay include, "the feeling you get when you swallow too much peanut butter and a glob gets caught in the back of your throat." Silt and fine sandy loams have a, "thick paste that coats the mouth like liquid velvet" description that is commonly found. Although water is almost always the main additive to each soil, other ingredients like RC Cola (Canada) and coconut milk (India) are incorporated later in the Grubbers soil journey.

Famous Grubbers

Glowin Gary Slipson

Gary Slipson or Glowin Gary as the community fondly remembers him was an online personality with a massive youtube following. He'd amassed a collection of soils from around the world and had such a large collection of jars that a single path from his front door to his computer was the only space left in his 2 story home. He acquired his nickname after sneaking to Chernobyl and collecting highly radioactive soil from the innermost contamination site. He said the jar was constantly warm although this claim has been disputed by several nuclear physicists. Gary would have online votes for which soil he would consume each day, amassing thousands of participants. The Chernobyl soil was almost always picked to Gary's detriment as he admitted he preferred many other soils and that, "the stomach pains and mouth sores are becoming too much." His stress only fueled his community and would chant in the comment section, "GLOW! GLOW! GLOW!" They would start removing likes from his previous videos until he decided to take at least one spoonful, in the dark with only the light of his computer screen illuminating his red swollen face. During the 4 weeks of his final run he made it through one cup of contaminated soil before dying on screen and amassing 1 million fans.